7 things you should never say to your husband

Elizabeth Peace

Don’t forget to back your words up with action.  One can speak all they want but actions just make it real.  jenn

• Is your marriage making you sick?

  A 2010 study from Ohio State University showed that couples that fight “the wrong way” take longer to heal from physical ailments. While disagreements are inevitable in a marriage, there are things you might be doing that make it worse.

  Psychotherapist Julie Hanks, LCSW, and executive director of Wasatch Family Therapist, said there are things we say to our husbands that can be detrimental to our marriage. Luckily, that can be avoided by choosing not to say certain phrases.

• 1. “Let me show you how to do it.”

  “I’ve seen in my own marriage and in my clinical practice that men feel good about themselves when the feel competent about solving life’s problems,” Hanks said. “Stepping in and directing your husband’s behavior without him asking you to can send the message to him that he’s not competent. When offering a suggestion to your spouse on how to do something it can help to approach it softly with something like, “I have a suggestion for you, if you’d like.'”

• 2. “My ex used to do it this way.”

  Never compare your husband to someone from a past relationship, Hanks said, even in jest.

  “The simple fact that you’re thinking about former relationships may be emotionally wounding for the man you love,” she said. “Unless your husband comes out looking like the hero, comparing him to past relationships is a no-no because it may leave him wondering if he’s good enough.”

• 3. “If you really loved me, you would…”

  This is an emotional trap for husbands, Hanks said.

  “Using this phrase often makes [a] husband [feel] that he can’t win,” she said. “To prove that he does love you he has to give you what you want even if he doesn’t think it’s a good idea or he doesn’t want to. Even if it works in the short-run, he’ll likely end up resenting you sooner or later.”

• 4. “Why can’t you just be more like…”

  Couples therapist Amber Cleveland Lewter, LAPC, warns against comparing your husband to your friends’ or sister’s husband.

  “You married your husband because you love him, don’t ask him to be someone else,” Lewter said. “This statement is likely to cause shame or anger, neither will motivate him and either one will probably cause him to shutdown.”

• 5. “You’re acting just like your father.”

  “We all have feelings good and bad about our parents,” Lewter said. “They are often more complex than others realize. While it may seem obvious to you that your husband is acting like his father or mother, the emotions that statement can bring are more complicated that you may realize. “

• 6. “You just need to put your foot down.”

  No man wants his wife to tell him to “man up,” Lewter said.

  “This is just emasculating,” she said. “Calling his emotional strength or manhood into question will be damaging to both his self-esteem and your relationship.”

• 7. “My ex always paid attention to me.”

  Again, comparing your man to someone else and telling him he doesn’t measure will not inspire him to provide what you need, Lewter said.

  “Instead it will cause or increase a rift, making him feel like he can’t please you and possibly causing you both to question your worth or feelings,” she said.

7 compliments every husband should say out loud to his wife

 Don’t forget to back your words up with actions.. One can talk all they want but actions just make it real.  jenn

Do you know a husband’s words has a cleansing effect upon the appearance of his wife?

Neil Kennedy

• A mirror can be a hostile enemy to a woman. Although it is a reflection of her image — the image she sees is often a poor comparison to the ideal image within her imagination. You can almost hear the screams when you walk past the women’s lounge. Very few women leave a mirror with a satisfying sigh of relief — most exhale a few self-imposed curses murmuring out their disgust.

  It’s pretty obvious that “modern” culture is hostile toward women. The social antipathy causes many women to succumb to a false body image. They can never measure up — or as you’re about to see, they will never measure down—to satisfy the delusional nature of this culture.

  The Dove brand launched a campaign to offset the dysmorphia of how women measure beauty. After an exhaustive study, Dove found that only 2 percent of women around the world describe themselves as beautiful.

  Recently, Steven, a husband from Colorado emailed this question:

  “My wife is constantly comparing herself to other women and continues to put herself down. She is so unhappy with herself that it’s having an effect upon our relationship. She has no confidence. What can I do to help her?”

  Do you know a husband’s words have a cleansing effect upon the appearance of his wife?

  In fact, his words benefit her better than any secret formula of anti-wrinkle cream. Paul described this anti-aging, blemish removing, wrinkle cream this way:

  “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” (Ephesians 5:25-27)

  Abraham spoke kind and comforting words over his wife when he changed her name from Sarai, which means “my princess,” to Sarah, which means “a noble lady.” This may seem like a subtle change, but it had an incredible affect upon her. Abraham stopped referencing her as a youthful “cutie,” and allowed her to mature into her beauty.

  Some men haven’t learned this lesson. We should allow our wives to grow into their maturity as a lady. Here are seven compliments every husband should say out loud to his wife.

• 1. “You’re the love of my life.”

  You can’t say it enough. This phrase has incredible meaning and can’t be replaced. As simple as it sounds, saying “I love you” is still the most powerful compliment given by a man. Don’t be stingy about saying it. Say it often and without reservation.

• 2. “You make that outfit look awesome.”

  Don’t say a dress looks good on her. That emphasizes the dress looking good. Rather say, “You make that dress look good.” She is the object of your affection — not the dress. It’s a subtle but powerful twist on an outdated compliment.

• 3. “I want to get your perspective on this issue.”

  This compliment tells your wife her mind is attractive to you. Being involved in a difficult decision that you’re facing will draw out of her a complemental wisdom that she can add to your life. She will feel like you value her partnership.

• 4. “You’re a beautiful woman.”

  Don’t say, “I like you the way you are.” The subliminal suggestion is that there is something flawed you’re willing to live with. Instead, say, “My attraction to you has only grown through the years, you get better and better.”

• 5. “You make me want to be a better man.”

  I borrowed this line from the movie, As Good As It Gets, but this is probably the most successfully crafted compliment a man can give. I just wish I would have said it first. This compliment is the essence of the complementary relationship a wife has with her husband.

• 6. “The intimacy of my eyes are for you.”

  This compliment reassures her you only have eyes for her. Job said, “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman” (Job 31:1). This compliment is reinforced when you are with your wife in public but your gaze stays with her, and your attention is fixated upon her needs.

• 7. “You’re all the proof I need that God favors me.”

  Solomon said, “He that finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” (Proverbs 18:22)

  I really like how pastor, poet and author Eugene Peterson paraphrases Ephesians 5:25-28 in the Gold Medallion Book Award Winner, The Message:

  “Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church — a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor — since they’re already “one” in marriage.”

  Really, a wife is a reflection of her husband’s ability to compliment her. His words are like the seeds of a farmer that return the harvest he desired when he planted the crop. Remember: it’s a fantasy to expect a harvest you haven’t sown a seed to have.

  Ask yourself: is my wife confident in herself? If not, begin today to evaluate the words you speak over her. Sow into her kind, affirming words and watch as she transforms into a confident, mature woman.

What does the Bible say about health?

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Health

What does the Bible say about health?
Why should I care about being healthy? It’s in the Bible, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, NKJV.  “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.

What is God’s desire for us? It’s in the Bible, 3 John 2, NIV. “I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you.”

On what conditions was freedom from disease promised to God’s people? It’s in the Bible, Exodus 15:26, NIV. “He said, ‘If you listen carefully to the voice of the Lord your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to His commands and keep all His decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord who heals you.”

What did God promise His people anciently? It’s in the Bible, Exodus 23:25, NIV. “Worship the Lord your God, and His blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you.”

Who is able to heal? It’s in the Bible, Psalm 103:2-3, NIV. “Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases.”

To enjoy a healthy life we must balance work and rest. It’s in the Bible, Exodus 20:8-10, NIV. “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work.”

Does attitude affect my health? It’s in the Bible, Proverbs 17:22, TLB. “A cheerful heart does good like medicine, but a broken spirit makes one sick.”

Stress on the outside need not mean stress on the inside. It’s in the Bible, Philippians 4:6-7, TLB. “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don’t forget to thank Him for his answers. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus.”

What can be done to prevent sexually transmitted diseases? It’s in the Bible, I Corinthians 6:18, TLB. “That is why I say to run from sex sin. No other sin affects the body as this one does. When you sin this sin it is against your own body.” Exodus 20:14, NIV. “You shall not commit adultery.”

What does the Bible say about health and food choices?
What was the original diet recommended for men and women? Fruits, grains, nuts, and legumes. It’s in the Bible, Genesis 1:29 NIV. “Then God said, ‘I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.”

Immediately after the flood, when little if any vegetation remained, what did God say about diet? It’s in the Bible, Genesis 9:2-4, TLB. “All wild animals and birds and fish will be afraid of you, God told him; ‘for I have placed them in your power, and they are yours to use for food, in addition to grain and vegetables. But never eat animals unless their life-blood has been drained off.”

The people were to be careful about their food and make a distinction between what was good for them and what wasn’t. It’s in the Bible, Leviticus 11:47, NIV. “You must distinguish between the unclean and the clean, between living creatures that may be eaten and those that may not be eaten.” (See Leviticus 11 for further details).

The distinction between the clean and unclean was not just a Jewish prohibition. It was in effect before Abraham, the first Jew. It’s in the Bible, Genesis 7:1,2, NIV. “The Lord then said to Noah, ‘Go into the ark, you and your whole family, because I have found you righteous in this generation. Take with you seven of every kind of clean animal, a mate and its mate, and two of every kind of unclean animal, a mate and its mate…'”

This distinction between the clean and unclean will continue to the end of time. It’s in the Bible, Isaiah 66:15,17 NIV. “See, the Lord is coming with fire, and His chariots are like a whirlwind; He will bring down His anger with fury, and His rebuke with flames of fire……Those who consecrate and purify themselves to go into the gardens, following one who is among those who eat the flesh of pigs, rats and other unclean things—they will meet their end together with the one they follow,” declares the LORD.”

What example did Daniel set in the importance of proper diet? It’s in the Bible, Daniel 1:8, NIV. “But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way.” What did he eat instead? It’s in the Bible, Daniel 1:12, NIV. “Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink.”

Why should we exercise self-control in our dietary habits? It’s in the Bible, I Corinthians 10:31, TLB. “It is because you must do everything for the glory of God, even your eating and drinking.”

What does the Bible say about health and alcohol?
What do the Scriptures say about liquor? It’s in the Bible, Proverbs 20:1, TLB. “Wine gives false courage; hard liquor leads to brawls; what fools men are to let it master them, making them reel drunkenly down the street!”

Will using alcoholic drinks really affect me adversely? It’s in the Bible, Proverbs 23:29-35, TLB. “Whose heart is filled with anguish and sorrow? Who is always fighting and quarreling? Who is the man with bloodshot eyes and many wounds? It is the one who spends long hours in the taverns, trying out new mixtures. Don’t let the sparkle and the smooth taste of strong wine deceive you. For in the end it bites like a poisonous serpent; it stings like an adder. You will see hallucinations and have delirium tremors, and you will say foolish, silly things that would embarrass you no end when sober. You will stagger like a sailor tossed at sea, clinging to a swaying mast. And afterwards you will say, ‘I didn’t even know it when they beat me up.”

What is the result of over-indulgence in food and drink? It’s in the Bible, Proverbs 23:20-21, NIV “Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags.”

30+ Stuck Inside Games for Kids

There are always days when kids are stuck inside to play.  Often it is due to weather, but there are tons of other reasons why outdoor plan may not be an option!

Kids Activities Blog is excited to announce that we are working with Together Counts as a Blog Ambassador in 2014 to spread the word about Energy Balance.  Energy Balance means balancing the calories we consume with the calories we burn.  The Together Counts program was started by The Healthy Weight Commitment Foundation to help reduce obesity – especially childhood obesity!

That is why we have collected over 30 Stuck Inside Games to play!

 Active Things for Kids to Do When They are Stuck Inside

Cross-Country Skiing – This is one of the most genius ways of upcycling I have seen in a long time!  Playtivities created an entire ski set out of cardboard and…well, I am not going to ruin it.  Go see for yourself!

Paper Airplane Accuracy Game – I adore this from How We Learn!  It could be themed for something your child is currently learning or you could make targets to get kids throwing and fetching!

Math Pattern Hop – Learning to skip count can be a very interactive experience!  This could easily be done in doors with painters’ tape instead of chalk.

Balloon Tennis – Toddler Approved has a fun idea to allow her kids to play tennis indoors!  Kristina replaced a tennis ball with a balloon.  I think their racquets are very creative!

Recycled Bottle Indoor Bowling – Learn with Play at Home has a fun and simple craft that turns bottles into a bowling game perfect for indoor energy expenditure.

Flashlight Games – The fun doesn’t have to stop when night falls!  There are all sorts of fun games to play after dark.

DIY Marble Run – Buggy and Buddy’s kids created a fun marble run from things they had around the house.  My kids would love, love, love this!

Cardboard Stair Slide – Milk and Cuddles has perfected the absolute gold standard of outdoor kids activities moved indoors, a slide!

Super Mario Obstacles – Inspired by the favorite video game, you can create an obstacle course that would stump kids to get to the next level.

Homemade Indoor Croquet – Toddler Approved has a fun indoor game for kids of all ages {my husband would adore this}.  She and her kids created a indoor croquet game with all sorts of upcycled household items.

Mini Golf – Create a tin can mini golf course just like The Craft Train!

DIY Ball and Cup Game – We adore this simple upcycle to create a game that can be played by two or even alone.  There is no reason to leave your recycling bin untouched!

Climb a Beanstalk – Inspired by the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, 3 Dinosaurs and her kids created a painted beanstalk and then worked on several creative ways for Jack to climb it!

Play Store – This fun idea from Kids Play Space is a shoe store!  At first this doesn’t sound very active until you see the pictures of her kid playing!  What fun.

Learn to Juggle – Use these super fun-to-make juggling balls to inspire a bit of coordination practice.  Is the circus in your child’s future?

Pyramid Crash – If you shop in bulk, you will love this activity from Mess for Less.  She and her kids have all sorts of fun with a common paper product including building a pyramid and then knocking it down.

Cardboard Box Carnival Games – Oh!  I can’t wait to do this fun project from What Do We Do All Day?!  Your recycling bin can be emptied and transformed into a carnival.

Catapult Competition – Everyone builds in this game and then let the contest begin!

Fake Snowstorm – This is crazy messy which means it probably is crazy fun!  The Playtivities kids created an indoor snowstorm!

Animal Charades – These printables from Buggy and Buddy will have kids acting like a zoo!  What a fun way to shake out the wiggles.

Balloon Rocket – This is such a fun science activity and if you string up the clothes line indoors, it would be easy indoor fun!

Pillow Case Races – The Meaningful Mama kids had a ton of fun with their modified gunny sack race!

Hopscotch – The Happy Hooligans made a indoor hopscotch track.  What I love is that it could be modified for all sorts of jumping and hopping fun.

Grab a Handful of Craft Sticks – A few craft sticks and a kid or two can be the perfect combination for any of these 15+ active ways to play indoors.

Winter Olympics-inspired Yoga – These fun poses from Kids Yoga Stories will get even the most reluctant yoga participant stretching and holding with enthusiasm.

Racquet Game – Even if there is no one to play with, this simple activity from Frugal Fun 4 Boys will keep kids bouncing and running in circles to keep playing.

Build a Road – A roll of masking tape is the perfect way to create highways and streets all over your home.  Watch out for traffic!

Build a Castle – This cardboard box was transformed into a dwelling fit for a queen or king.  I love how KC Edventures’s kids created something really special.

Milk Jug Toss – Creative Connections for Kids has a upcycling project that will give hours of play.  A pom pom, a string and a milk jug becomes an active toy.

Avoid the Web – Create a spider web for kids to negotiate just like Hands On As We Grow.

Indoor Snowball Fight – Coffee Cups and Crayons will have the “snow” flying around your living room in no time.  This activity can have a fun learning component too!

Whew!  All those should be helpful in burning a few calories!

You can find out more about the Together Counts program by visiting Together Counts website, Together Counts on FB, Together Counts on Twitter, Together Counts on Pinterest or Together Counts on G+.

I have set up a Pinterest Board specifically to collect active kid activities and healthy kid food ideas.  Please stop by and follow!

Holly HomerTogether Counts – Active & Healthy Living for KidsSee On

The Heart Condition That Will Set You Free

by Joyce Meyer

I have a heart condition – and so do you. I’m not talking about my physical heart. I’m talking about my soul, which is my mind, will and emotions. This is the heart of our inner life.

Our inner life is more important than anything else because it is based on our thoughts and attitudes, which determine how we live. Real life is the life that’s in you, not your circumstances, like where you live or what job you have or who you’re in relationship with… Real peace and joy come from God’s Spirit in us, not things or people around us. And when your heart is right with God, it’s amazing how peaceful, content and even happy you can be in the midst of difficult situations and turmoil.

Matthew 5:8 says the pure in heart will see God. And Proverbs 4:23 instructs us to “keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life” (The Amplified Bible).

The scripture in Proverbs makes it clear that it’s our responsibility to guard our heart. And we need to do it often because each day there are countless opportunities for something to creep into our heart that is not pure or pleasing to God.

The Litmus Test of a Pure Heart

Checking your motives is a good way to determine what condition your heart is in. Motives reveal why we do what we do, which is actually more important to God than what we’re doing. If we’re really honest with ourselves, most of us will admit that we want to impress people, and this is what’s causing us to do what we do.

But I’ve learned a powerful secret: When we no longer have to impress people and we are living to please God and do what He wants us to do, we will have real freedom to be who God created us to be and enjoy life.

Think about it. If your schedule is hectic, is it because God is overloading you with responsibility or because you’re striving to do what you feel other people want you to do? Have you ever said, “Well, so-and-so expects me to do this, so that’s why I’m doing it.” Or maybe you were afraid someone would be mad or disappointed with you if you didn’t do what they asked. I’ve done it. And it just made me miserable and even resentful at times.

I also used to do things because I was nosy and just wanted to know what was going on – even at church! I wanted to be involved in some groups because of it. And at one time I even pushed Dave to be an elder so he could go to meetings and then tell me what was going on.

How to Check Your Heart

As I grew in my relationship with God, He showed me what it means to have a heart like Him. He is a God of grace, mercy, truth, compassion and generosity. Whatever He tells us to do, it’s because it’s for our good, not His benefit. He gave His best for us when He gave Jesus, His only Son, to die on our behalf so we could be forgiven of our sin through His shed blood.

No matter what condition your heart is in, if you’ll trust God, He can heal you and make your heart like His.

If you aren’t in the habit of checking your heart and really guarding it, I want to encourage you to spend a few hours alone one day and think about what you do and why. If you’ll be honest with yourself, God can help you see the truth about your condition. And the truth will always make you free!

The Light of Depression

Twice, I have seen my father cry. The first time, I was 12, and my sister, Jenny, was 14. She was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes and needed further testing. When we arrived at the hospital, my dad walked around to her side of the car, gathered her into his arms and held her. None of us understood what was happening to my sister’s body, but when I heard my strong dad’s voice break with tears, I knew we were on a new and unexpected path.

Almost 10 years later, in the fall following my college graduation, I was the one my father gathered into his arms. At 22, I was diagnosed with clinical depression and voluntarily admitted to a psychiatric hospital. At a time in my life when the world was supposed to be opening up to me, I found myself retreating. Apathetic, uncaring, tired, and with no particular vision for any future, I subtly drifted into a world without hope. My family and I knew I needed help.

As a child, I had great passion for life. The simplest of pleasures brought unexplainable joy. I seldom demonstrated a melancholic personality. In fact, my parents learned that birthdays, Christmas and any reason for celebration would find me in a delirium of excitement. I loved life, and I loved being alive. When depression struck, I was dropped into a world where wearing my own skin was foreign and ill-fitting.

My mom says that one of the hardest days of her life was the day I checked into the hospital. My personal belongings were rummaged through, and I headed down the long hallway to doctors and a treatment team that became my “family” for the next month. Her drive home, leaving me behind, was heartbreaking. She was left to wonder and guess at why her daughter was in so much pain and why she couldn’t fix it this time.

I was numb, trying to see through a haze that had settled upon what once was vivid and bright. All color had seeped from a life that used to hold such joy. Some people didn’t understand my depression. They regarded it as a bad case of the Sunday evening blues, believing that if I tried harder and stopped feeling sorry for myself, I would “get better.” But I wasn’t just dealing with apathy toward routine. I couldn’t remedy being sick with a strenuous run, a good movie, or simply the passing of time. Depression transcended my circumstances and invaded my soul. It was more like a day terror — like waking up to a nightmare. Clinical depression painted my world black while screaming quietly that I was worthless.

I remember driving home from work the week before I checked into the hospital. My co-workers hadn’t noticed any difference in my performance or behavior. I was great at keeping up appearances. I was good at performing. But that evening, I recall wishing I weren’t alive, wishing my car would turn down an empty road and I could disappear. Upon arriving home, I headed straight for my room and slipped under my covers, hoping to sleep. I wanted to escape life because it hurt to breathe.

By the end of my first week at the hospital, I had made up my mind to leave. It wasn’t working. I packed my bags, headed to the front desk, and announced that I was calling my parents to come and pick me up. But my treatment team told me I needed to stay. Defeated and scared, I returned to my room, unpacked my bags and cried myself to sleep. It was time to get honest with myself.

I was angry. Me, happy Alice, with so much going for her. Stripped of the world’s accolades, it didn’t matter what school I had attended, where I had vacationed, what awards or pageants I had won. It didn’t matter who I knew, didn’t know, or thought I knew. What mattered to those surrounding me was that I was honest about my feelings. They didn’t have to be pretty. I didn’t have to look good. I could just be — and that was enough.

It was the kindness, compassion, love and truth demonstrated in the hospital that began unlocking my wounds, hurts and distorted thinking. I was learning from the worn lives around me. Lives I would have once felt pity for or wanted to distance myself from. They were the ones who possessed strength and courage. They had suffered abuse, neglect, addiction and illnesses. They felt misplaced and forgotten; they were told they didn’t matter. I came from a family filled with love, but as I and others in my hospital “family” shared our suffering, I found I needed their love.

When I was depressed, I was completely turned inward. I couldn’t see past my own shame. It warmed me, but like a scratchy wool blanket, brought its own discomfort. The irony is, until I recognized my depression for what it was, I wasn’t able to turn outward and accept love and love in return.

Getting help and getting rid of the junk cluttering my mind were part of getting better. Hope came gradually, with small steps that slowly returned feeling and clarity. I was changing. My thinking was being altered. I was given a truer sense of who I was: a young woman who needed to be loved for herself, not for what she could offer — not for how she could make you feel. Being honest in the hidden places of my heart. Taking personal responsibility. And slowly, the desire to live, the courage to want to live, began to return. Once truth reveals deception, the lie can no longer deceive unless we choose to let it.

A year and a half after my release from the hospital, I drove along a country road. The moon was bright. The stars brighter. Snow gave a fresh milky coat to the trees, and the night air was full and dark. I felt so alive. I hadn’t believed there would ever be something good enough or rich enough to make up for the pain and darkness I had known. My pain had been deep. But on this quiet stretch of road, I knew it had all been worth it. I knew that life was different because of my experience. Suffering had painted color into my life, and I could be thankful.

Living What You Read

You can read you Bible all day long and underline and highlight it until it looks like a coloring book.  But until you actually start living and enjoying what it says, you wont make any difference in your life.  The good news is, in Christ, we have what we need to live the way the Word of God tells us to live.

Second Peter 1:3 tells us, His divine power has bestowed upon us all things that (are requisite and suited) to life and godliness, through the (full personal) knowledge of Him Who called us by and to His won glory and excellence (virtue).

What is excellence?  It simply means to go the extra mile, to exceed the requirements.  It’s always so refreshing to be around someone who’s excellent— they’re constantly surprising you through over-delivering.

You Never Know

A conversation with a stranger that lasted less than five minutes was the highlight of my week. I was returning a rental car and the sales guy noticed I’d preset the station to a Christian radio station. “My mom listens to that one,” he said.

This 20-something guy then proceeded to open up a bit about how he’d grown up in a faith-filled home, but once college came around, he’d opted more for late Saturday nights with friends than early Sunday mornings at church.

“I guess I just kinda fell away,” he continued. He looked at the ground as he talked, probably waiting for me to offer a cliche or some advice, but instead I said: “You know, that’s my story, too.” He looked up.

I proceeded to share the two-minute version of how my knees hit the dormroom floor around age 22 and I prayed through tears “Lord, I want to come back to You!” and searched out the Christian music helped me reconnect. That was the end of our conversation because another customer was waiting. As I drove away, I thanked God for that five minutes.

Be reminded today: There is always time to share your faith journey. Someone else might say: “Me too.”

Posted on 1/28/2015 10:00:00 AM by Sarah Taylor

No More Groaning

Scripture Reading: Romans 8:18-27

We ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies.
—Romans 8:23

On occasion, I’ll ask a person how they are doing, and they will say, jokingly, “I can’t complain. But, then again, no one would listen anyhow!”

Sometimes, even people who are Christians feel like groaning. We live in a world still broken and corrupted by sin. Lives redeemed by Christ can still feel the effects of sin, death, and decay: marriages struggle, classmates argue, customers complain, friends get injured, communities suffer natural disasters. The creation groans, and we groan too.

Yet the gospel reminds us that our world is not just fallen; it is also being remade. Even in our sufferings God reveals our need for Christ, our need for the Spirit to sustain us. God is teaching us that no matter how much we may feel like groaning, Christ has also given us a new way of speaking. We can see aches and pains as growing pains, transitional discomforts through which God is renewing all things.

Salvation brings the redemption of not only our souls but also our bodies, and of creation as well. The Holy Spirit shapes even everyday challenges in work, school, relationships, and sickness into areas of God’s transforming work in us.

Are you in a complaining way today? Let God’s Spirit take that groaning and turn it into a new word of praise.

Prayer

Holy Spirit, show me how Christ’s life is being revealed in me right now. Hear my complaints, and turn them into praise. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Joel Vande Werken

Learning to Forgive Others

Learning to Forgive Others

By Ed Chinn
Part of the Learning to Forgive Others Series

Learning to Forgive Others
Forgiveness in the Family
Walking in Forgiveness
Far Horizons of Forgiveness

Series About:

Relationship Challenges

When Bridget Driscoll died in London on August 17, 1896, she became one of the first people on earth to be killed by an automobile. The attending coroner said he certainly hoped that “such a thing will never happen again.”1

Despite that coroner’s naive hopes, the realities of math and physics dictate that mixing people and machines makes a certain number of injuries and deaths inevitable. In the same way, human beings cannot occupy the same space – like a home or office – without transgressing and offending others. That is why families, work places, churches, schools and neighborhoods can become hotbeds of human conflict and suffering.

Let’s face it: human beings are messy and hurtful. We don’t mean to be that way. We don’t intend harm. But most of us have caused and received many relational injuries. We have all insulted and injured our parents, siblings, spouses, children and a wide array of other people.

Right there is the point where two worldviews collide.
Utopia

A utopian view insists that humans are born perfect and then corrupted by society. Therefore the perfect society always remains a tantalizing dream. That dream seduces some into an endless chase of the unattainable.

Strangely, the prospect of perfection leads some to reverse the God and human roles. Those who pursue the utopian dream always seem to conclude that God is non-existent, indifferent, weak or vengeful. Conversely, humans are seen to have boundless potential for great nobility, soaring artistic achievement and moral perfection. That illusion claims that if we could only and totally liberate humans, we would finally discover the ideal society.

So, the utopian confusion sees God as weak and miserable and man as transcendent and glowing with goodness.

Ironically, the utopian pattern – which has marched under the banners of socialism, communism, eugenics, hedonism and other philosophies – is a brutal way to live. Like Hitler’s pursuit of “the master race,” utopianism tends to morph into dehumanization and holocausts. It sacrifices human beings on the altar of its own mad idealism.
Redemption

A redemptive view accepts the full scope of sinful human nature; it fully believes that people are going to trample and even kill one another.

That viewpoint knows that “human potential” is an illusion. The only hope for humanity lies in the God Who paid the price of our sinful nature. In other words, redemption assumes that people will be people and that God will be God; the roles cannot be reversed. But, because He chose to freely forgive and to give His Spirit to us, we have become partakers of His nature. Think of it: We are invited to live on the higher ground of His purposes.

A redemptive view releases humans to accept personal responsibility for their own actions. And we will never get very far accepting responsibility without the mysterious role of forgiveness.
What is Forgiveness?

To forgive is to release. Let it go. Freely and wholeheartedly grant freedom and blessing. It has very little to do with feelings or even trust. Forgiveness is simply a decision to let go of our regrets and our own view of justice.

Lily Tomlin captured a wonderful summary of forgiveness: To forgive is to give up all hope for a better past.

I think that is why some people find it almost impossible to apologize. To do so seems to be a subconscious abandonment of the utopian ideal. It is an admission that we didn’t measure up to the possibilities which are implicit in the idea of a perfect society.

Well, yes. To try to live in utopia is to deny the relational nature of life. That illusion says that we are to be perfect — all by ourselves! Not at all true. God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. When we step into His magnanimity, the matrix of failure, injury, disappointment and forgiveness opens us up to the large panorama of possibilities which mark the Christian life. It is often through heartache and redemption that we discover new reasons and rhythms for life.

Have you ever deflected an apology? How often have you heard (or said), “No apologies are necessary,” or “Oh,don’t worry about it? “Those kinds of responses abort the necessary and healthy process of redemption and renewal.

When we violate another human being, an apology and plea for forgiveness is essential to cleaning the wound and preventing relational infection. Apologies are serious stuff. They should be heartfelt and real.

And, when I extend forgiveness, it has to be real also. I can’t forgive in order to avoid or quickly conclude an uncomfortable moment. The seeking and the granting of forgiveness are profoundly serious acts. They demand full attention and deep sense of reality.

I do not deny the dark possibilities contained in human nature. But, more than that, I want to try to pull back a curtain on the powerful, beautiful and unique role of forgiveness in human relationships.

How does forgiveness actually play out in a family situation? What does it look like in other arenas of life? How do we live out forgiveness toward those whom we do not know? For example, how do we forgive the racists (or racist system) which turned humans into personal property?

Finally, how does forgiveness take hold of the reality of heaven and apply it in the dust of the earth. In short, does forgiveness have a role in seeking the Kingdom of God “on earth as it is in heaven?”