Monthly Archives: July 2011

Learning to Like Yourself

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http://www.joycemeyer.org/articles/ea.aspx?article=learning_to_like_yourself&utm_source=Facebook&utm_campaign=EDA&utm_medium=post&utm_term=July29&utm_content=post

Learning to Like Yourself

by Joyce Meyer

Did you know that you and I have to learn to deal with our do separately from our who? The fact is, I don’t do everything right all the time, but that doesn’t affect who I am. I know I’m loved and that I’m still a good person. I’ve made mistakes in my life—and I’m sure I’ll make mistakes in the future—but I still like myself.

If you like yourself—even though others may not—you’ll make it. When you start to like yourself, other people begin to like you too. Liking yourself doesn’t mean you’re full of pride; it simply means you accept yourself as the person God created you to be. We all need changes in our behavior, but accepting ourselves as God’s creation is vital to our progress in becoming an emotionally healthy person. If we can master this one thing—liking ourselves—it will work wonders in helping us to overcome a shame-based nature. Let me explain what I mean.

Many people live under what I call the curse of failure. They can never do anything they set out to do. They’re always failing, always messing up, always getting disappointed, discouraged and depressed. They don’t like who they are because they’ve adopted a shame-based nature.

For a long time I didn’t like my personality, and since my personality is who I am, I didn’t like me. I didn’t want to be as bold and straightforward as I am. I didn’t want to be so direct and blunt. I wanted to be like one of my friends. She had a gift of being sweet, kind and gentle. What I didn’t realize is that she was just born that way—and I wasn’t. Because I didn’t like my personality and who I was, I tried to change myself. I wanted to be more like my friend. I tried to be the perfect woman, the ideal wife and mother who grew her own tomatoes and canned them, made jelly, sewed her family’s clothes, and on and on.

It didn’t work. It was the old story of trying to fit the round peg into the square hole. I was just trying to be something I wasn’t. Finally, I had to learn to accept myself the way I was and let go of the idea of being like someone else. I began to realize that, although I did need to change some areas of my life, who I am will never change.

When a person has a shame-based nature, as I did, it becomes the source or root of many complex inner problems like depression, loneliness, isolation and alienation. All kinds of compulsive disorders are rooted in shame: drug, alcohol and other chemical addictions; eating disorders like bulimia, anorexia, and obesity; money addictions like stinginess and gambling; sexual perversions of all kinds—the list is endless.

For example, workaholism is a very destructive disorder in our society today. There are people who are such workaholics that they can never enjoy life. Unless they’re working day and night, they feel irresponsible. In fact, some people are like I was—if they’re enjoying themselves, they feel guilty about it.

Another example of a destructive disorder is perfectionism. Some people are tormented by perfectionism because of abuse or some other negative situation in their past. They keep trying to be perfect in order to win the attention and affection they feel they were denied. People who live with workaholism and perfectionism set themselves up for failure. They set unreasonably high standards for themselves, and when they ultimately fail, they feel badly about themselves. They make impossible schedules and then make themselves—and everyone else around them—miserable because they’re constantly rushing around.

Workaholics and perfectionists are just two examples of the types of people who really haven’t learned to simply like who they are. Shame, because of something they may have done in their past, has caused them to dislike themselves. Remember, you must separate your do from your who. You’re a unique and special individual, with God-given talents and skills. And even though you may have made mistakes in the past, it’s time to move on and learn to like yourself!


This article is taken from Joyce’s audio teaching, Confidence.

The things that await us…

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Sometimes in life you look at where you are and time flashes before your eyes.  You remember the good times, the great times and then the REALLY REALLY good times along with  the bad times the really really bad times and then the disasters.. With my oldest daughter turning 20 on August 9th, being pinned as an LVN on August 20th soon to move an hour and a half away to live with her husband which they will celebrate their on year  anniversary later in the year!!! My youngest daughter will be 17 in 5 months.  Talk about time flashing before your eyes… I am ever so grateful lately that even though I could be thinking my life is over that there is nothing left for me to do.  I know for a fact that I am not even close to there being nothing left for me to do.  God has been so good to me and I am so blessed to be reaping the benefits of his promises.  Is it easy? NO!  Is it worth it? YESSSS! I have been tested to the point of QUITTING! I was going to give all this up, until a great friend of mine stepped in and fought for me.  That is why I always suggest to have christian friends close to you and that you trust.  Now that I am still here in the fight and still moving forward in my journey, as I like to call it, I am more excited than ever to see what God has in store for me.  When the bible says beyond imagination, that is exactly what it means.  If you are in a place with God that you know he wants to use you and can use you but you are holding back… it’s time to surrender all.. I promise it is worth the things we loose or have to change.. I used to not like change at all .  Now days I am learning that it’s not so bad.. I still have a little trouble adapting to change I just don’t resist it as much.. because I have found that there is usually something better, happier, easier at the other end.. not always for myself but for others also..

Do What’s Right….

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Doing what we feel like doing can get us in a mess. Don’t make decisions based on feelings. Learn to do what’s right even when it all feels wrong. (Proverbs 21:2-3)

As Christians we are often faced with situations that make us battle doing what we want to do and what we should do.. Sometimes those choices can also have us do things that our flesh will go kicking and screaming the whole way.. I look at that as a good sign.. if it hurts your flesh to do it it is probably a good thing.. Our flesh often acts up most when we are challenging it to a change.. It’s like a dual.. who will be the last one standing. Following scripture and the holly spirit is a great way to battle the flesh. Keep close christian friends that are full of biblical knowledge, years of experience to help you in the battle..

Need to Renew Your Mind??

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Here are four requirements or a renewed mind:

1. Fill tour mind with Scripture-focusing on the Lord’s character, ways, and commands.

2. Resist temptation and flee from it by understanding the thoughts and feelings that trigger a sinful response in you.

3. Check the source of your thoughts-are they from God your flesh, the world, or Satan?

4.Rely on the Holy Spirit to empower you to resist sin and break free from its bondage.

Encouragment .. Do you need it or need to give it ????

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How long has it been since you wrote a letter?? Not a ran to walmart.. or be right back letter but a heart felt letter to brighten someones day?? Can you remember back when you were growing up and would get cards with letters in them from grandma or aunt Luanne?? I would always love writing them back and hearing them say how happy it made them to find my letter to them in the mail box.  I heard a 30 minute teaching this morning on KAVX about encouragement.  A 88 year old grandma who had given up on life and had prayed that if there was nothing left for her to do that God would just take her home.  He immediatly said to her “can you write??”  She wrote male and female prisoners, who wrote back incredible letters of gratitude.  We always say we are too busy to sit down and take the time to write a letter put it in an envelope add the stamp and mail a letter.  We send a text now to say thanks or that i am praying for you or hope you get better.  it works but is not the same as opening the mailbox and seeing that someone took the time to write their feelings and thoughts down on a piece of paper.  So today.. I am challenging you to write a letter or two that would brighten or encourage someones day..  I wrote two letters last week to two of the inmates I met painting at the expo center.  I am so glad that I took the time and I hope that my words are wisdom, hope, strength, direction in their lives.  I am also going to write my grandma that lives in Indianna.  I haven’t wrote her in years.  I feel so horrible after hearing the teaching on how much a simple letter can brighten someones day.  ❤ Jenn

The Write Encouragement

I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy.
Philippians 1:3-4   

Recommended Reading

Philippians 1:3-11

How many words do you speak throughout a given day compared to the words that you write? One estimation of our spoken words reports that a woman speaks approximately 8000 words a day, and a man speaks about 6000 words. These estimates outnumber our written words by far–even though Internet messaging goes on 24/7. Is it any surprise that sometimes we can’t remember what we said or what someone else said? The power of the written word cannot be underestimated.
God valued the written word and gave us the Bible as His letter of encouragement–a permanent record of His love and concern for us. Many of the books in the New Testament are letters, known as epistles, written to churches and individuals. It’s interesting to note that when the apostle Paul wrote a letter, he consistently began with a word of encouragement (Romans 1:8-9; 1 Corinthians 1:4-9; 2 Corinthians 1:3-5).
Written encouragement conveys a thoughtful investment of your time. Why not take a minute and think of someone you know who needs a word of encouragement today. They won’t forget it!

Written encouragement is one of the most effective tools God has given to His children.
David Jeremiah

Read-thru-the-Bible 
Isaiah 41:1 – 43:28

How to Resolve Control Issues

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http://www.ehow.com/how_2073204_resolve-control-issues.html

First of all I want to start off by saying THANK GOD for his healing ability.  What I mean by that is that I used to have control issues.  I guess scared of the unknown.  Scared that if I didn’t know what was going to happen and when that it would go all wrong.  God seen that in me an knew that it was something that I had to get released from before he could fully use me in the plans he had for me.  I could have kept the control problem and yes he still could have used me.  But when I transformed my life and told God that I would do anything and go anywhere I meant with my whole heart.  I didn’t say I will do what I want and act how I want when I need too..  It was THE hardest thing for me is to give up control.  I could literally feel it inside me changing.  I would have to keep my mouth shut on occassion and could literally feel it in me like a poison.  But It eventually went away and now I am almost stress free.. yes me… I used to worry about the dishes in the sink.. where people put their shoes, who went where , and on and on and on.. The bad thing is is that I had to learn my lesson the hard way.  My daughter was involved in a serious accident, even though I thought I could protect her even more than God.  When she was in the hospital with a punctured lung, bruised heart, tire tracks on her forehead and leg along with a hole in her lip that was big enough for her tongue to come through and missing two of her front teeth.  That is how God got my attention on my control and not trusting him for everything.  So don’t be like me and wait for something like or worse for you to change.  Talking about changing is not good enough.  Controlling people until you have hurt them for a lifetime and then apologizing is not good either.. it is worse than just acting like a total jerk and just moving on.. I only say this because this is how I lived for a LONG time!! God had to tell me that he wanted to go in windows of my heart that no one had seen before I realized that my control issue was so life hendering.  I feel so bad for my family for having to be under that and when I am around people like I USED to be i want to call all the people I affected and apologize.. The tips below will help in some cases but what really changed me is wanting to be like Christ!  If we are to be like him a controlling spirit is definately not a step in the right direction.  Read scripture and live it.  Go back to the old saying WWJD!!! and when we are controlling and picking a fights just to see who will fight back or to make us feel like we are the top dog that is not like Christ.  I hope this helps someone today.. ❤ Jenn

How to Resolve Control Issues

eHow Health Editor

This article was created by a professional writer and edited by experienced copy editors, both qualified members of the Demand Media Studios community. All articles go through an editorial process that includes subject matter guidelines, plagiarism review, fact-checking, and other steps in an effort to provide reliable information.

By an eHow Contributorupdated May 18, 2011
How to Resolve Control Issuesthumbnail
Resolve Control Issues

You may be one of those people who constantly needs to be in charge. You have a difficult time letting others work on projects, and people continually advise you to lighten up and trust others. Wanting to manage your own life is normal. However, hen you need to exert power over those around you as well, you should step back and learn to resolve your control issues.

Instructions

    • 1

      Let go of your fear of the unknown. Allow yourself to let someone else plan a date or pay bills for a day and see that it’s possible to trust others to do things. Start slow. Surrender a little control at a time. Ask your friends and family to be patient as you learn to let go of things.

    • 2

      Realize your family and friends are different from you. They may have their own way of doing things, but they can be just as effective as you. Let others decide for themselves how to live their lives.

    • 3

      Talk to others about issues and topics that interest them. Work on listening and contributing to the conversation.

    • 4

      Share. Allow others to hold your baby, eat your food or plan events with you. It may seem simple, but sharing your life with others allows them to feel closer to you and ultimately more satisfied with the relationship.

    • 5

      Trust. Allow your teenagers to go out and trust that they can come home at a reasonable time without your intereference. Set rules to follow but allow your children or significant other to show you they can be trusted.

    • 6

      Ask for help in sharing responsibility. Recognize that you don’t have to do it alone Others will helpy you with chores and tasks if you allow them. Let go of the need to excel at everything.

Tips & Warnings

  • Seek counseling if you realize you can’t alleviate the problem yourself. A counselor may also suggest bringing your partner or family into the sessions to discuss the parameters of the situation.
  • Avoid using insults and name calling as a power tool. Compliment others instead of criticizing them to improve your relationships.

We have a choice.. what will you choose??

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Jenn in the afternoons wants to remind us that when we focus on the problems in our life, we will have more problems… But when we finally decide to focus on the possibilities ,we will have more opportunities… We have a choice… ♥

It’s just like the other morning when i went to paint at the Expo center for the forrest festival.. It was early and i knew it was gonna be HOT!!  I tried to not be negative.. but it is my nature to be negative.. so i chose to just start painting.. before i knew it i was sharing Jesus and what i did for a living to the trustees of the city jail that were there painting with me.  If i had chosen to focus on how early it was and how bad i was sweating i would never have seen the opportunity to share Jesus with these guys.. I hope to see them on the outside.. i have planted seeds for them to visit my church or a church in huntington.. i invited them to help with some big events our church does.. i am so glad tha i chose to see the opportunity and not the problem.  it’s usually the times i feel the most resistance that i have the best opportunity to be a witness and share the light of Jesus .. just like i teach my childrens church kids….

We have a choice.. what will you choose??