How to Resolve Control Issues


First of all I want to start off by saying THANK GOD for his healing ability.  What I mean by that is that I used to have control issues.  I guess scared of the unknown.  Scared that if I didn’t know what was going to happen and when that it would go all wrong.  God seen that in me an knew that it was something that I had to get released from before he could fully use me in the plans he had for me.  I could have kept the control problem and yes he still could have used me.  But when I transformed my life and told God that I would do anything and go anywhere I meant with my whole heart.  I didn’t say I will do what I want and act how I want when I need too..  It was THE hardest thing for me is to give up control.  I could literally feel it inside me changing.  I would have to keep my mouth shut on occassion and could literally feel it in me like a poison.  But It eventually went away and now I am almost stress free.. yes me… I used to worry about the dishes in the sink.. where people put their shoes, who went where , and on and on and on.. The bad thing is is that I had to learn my lesson the hard way.  My daughter was involved in a serious accident, even though I thought I could protect her even more than God.  When she was in the hospital with a punctured lung, bruised heart, tire tracks on her forehead and leg along with a hole in her lip that was big enough for her tongue to come through and missing two of her front teeth.  That is how God got my attention on my control and not trusting him for everything.  So don’t be like me and wait for something like or worse for you to change.  Talking about changing is not good enough.  Controlling people until you have hurt them for a lifetime and then apologizing is not good either.. it is worse than just acting like a total jerk and just moving on.. I only say this because this is how I lived for a LONG time!! God had to tell me that he wanted to go in windows of my heart that no one had seen before I realized that my control issue was so life hendering.  I feel so bad for my family for having to be under that and when I am around people like I USED to be i want to call all the people I affected and apologize.. The tips below will help in some cases but what really changed me is wanting to be like Christ!  If we are to be like him a controlling spirit is definately not a step in the right direction.  Read scripture and live it.  Go back to the old saying WWJD!!! and when we are controlling and picking a fights just to see who will fight back or to make us feel like we are the top dog that is not like Christ.  I hope this helps someone today.. ❤ Jenn

How to Resolve Control Issues

eHow Health Editor

This article was created by a professional writer and edited by experienced copy editors, both qualified members of the Demand Media Studios community. All articles go through an editorial process that includes subject matter guidelines, plagiarism review, fact-checking, and other steps in an effort to provide reliable information.

By an eHow Contributorupdated May 18, 2011
How to Resolve Control Issuesthumbnail
Resolve Control Issues

You may be one of those people who constantly needs to be in charge. You have a difficult time letting others work on projects, and people continually advise you to lighten up and trust others. Wanting to manage your own life is normal. However, hen you need to exert power over those around you as well, you should step back and learn to resolve your control issues.


    • 1

      Let go of your fear of the unknown. Allow yourself to let someone else plan a date or pay bills for a day and see that it’s possible to trust others to do things. Start slow. Surrender a little control at a time. Ask your friends and family to be patient as you learn to let go of things.

    • 2

      Realize your family and friends are different from you. They may have their own way of doing things, but they can be just as effective as you. Let others decide for themselves how to live their lives.

    • 3

      Talk to others about issues and topics that interest them. Work on listening and contributing to the conversation.

    • 4

      Share. Allow others to hold your baby, eat your food or plan events with you. It may seem simple, but sharing your life with others allows them to feel closer to you and ultimately more satisfied with the relationship.

    • 5

      Trust. Allow your teenagers to go out and trust that they can come home at a reasonable time without your intereference. Set rules to follow but allow your children or significant other to show you they can be trusted.

    • 6

      Ask for help in sharing responsibility. Recognize that you don’t have to do it alone Others will helpy you with chores and tasks if you allow them. Let go of the need to excel at everything.

Tips & Warnings

  • Seek counseling if you realize you can’t alleviate the problem yourself. A counselor may also suggest bringing your partner or family into the sessions to discuss the parameters of the situation.
  • Avoid using insults and name calling as a power tool. Compliment others instead of criticizing them to improve your relationships.

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