Managing Anger -Help & Hope

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anger

there is a great audio teaching that is great to listen to.. that is where some of the notes came from for the topic of the day.  It’s geared towards moms but we all deal with anger… so please keep reading if you are not a mom… 🙂 this one hit me very close to my heart.  I cried when I listened to it.. here are my notes from audio:

Ready to leave for work.. the dog gets out and you have to chase him, late for work the kids are late for school… Ever had a morning like this?

Moms-full time jobs- we get so busy and can’t stop to slow down to rest.  we usually hold it in.  do you talk about everybody’s anger except yours?

Snippy, frustrated, fussy?  There is a wonderful book by Julie Slattery called She’s Gonna Blow…

Being upset, mad, frustrated is not a sin. Acting out can be a sin.

We dream of being the perfect mom, dad, (whatever we do) but the reality of stress and hectic lifestyles sets in and we usually end up being snippy, frustrated and fussy.. which causes to act out in anger.  We tend to not talk about our feelings.

Jenn’s words:  i have found that if i just tell my husband how i really feel it is easier for him to help me.. it took me a long time to just say .. yes i want you to help me clean the house.. or yes i want you to go with me.. but once he knows exactly what i need he does it with a smile.  but when i just want him to  guess how i am feeling and leave it to him to make the right choice it ends up with my feelings being hurt and him having no clue why…. talk to your family.. friends, co workers be honest…

Acknowledging our anger, speaking out loud about it and not letting the shame keep you from getting the help you need.

Weariness of our everyday demand, noise, fatugue and the constant everyone needing something from you can really wear you down.

How do you get yourself out of snapping?  (Jenn’s words.. I used to be a snapper… :/ i look back now and see that it only hurt the people around me.. My daughters, my husband… ) There is not one thing that can do it.  pray more, read AND LIVE the word of God more, visit friends and family more that you can safely talk about your anger and my favorite is get outside in the sunshine.  This is a long journey of changing behaviors.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE… (jenns words:  i spent years of my life stressing for things to be perfect… and when they werent i was angry.. If people didn’t think like i thought they should i was angry.. if i was upset at something i took it out on the wrong people.  Don’t waste any more time.. let go of the things that don’t matter.. laugh more with the ones you love.. )

Check this out:  Triggers of anger.  this is a story of another christian woman struggling with anger of mom stress.  (jenn’s words:  this is the part that made me cry.. I heard and saw myself in this story :/

Mom was tired and her daughter wouldn’t go down for a nap. after a rough day and herself needing a nap, struggling to get her daughter to sleep she ended up picking her daughter up, shaking her and then throwing her onto her bed, her daughter ended up hitting the wall in the process.  Remember being angry is not a sin acting out can turn into sin.

Immediatly she went in to pick her child up and comfort her.. she will never forget the look of fear in her daughters eyes as her daughter tried to get away from her.  Her prayer after loosing it, shaking and throwing her daughter went something like this.  I am so ashamed of who i am at times, I pray for mercy, God please withhold your rightful anger from me I was so angry at Kristen today.  I am literally sick to my stomach, where does this fury come from?  How on earth could a 2year old make me so angry?  It’s as if we become someone else.  I never thought i would become this mom, does it come from sin?  Is it just me?  Is it a lack or love?  Is it possible I don’t love my child?  I want to be a mother who isn’t like this.  What a horrible mess I have made.

If you find yourself in a place where your anger is taking over.. find a safe place to talk about it.

1. OWN IT.. speak it. Let Secrets out.  Sometime today speak it.  Even if you go to a wall, cup your hands over your mouth and speak it into your hands..

2.  Take a look at triggers.  Anger can be like a volcano.  Is it your past?  What little earhtquakes do you have in your life that erupt your volcano?  You can’t run from your past, you cant go over it, you cant go under it and you can’t go around it.  YOU MUST GO THROUGH IT..

(jenns words: my past was one of my biggest enemies.. satan used my past to keep me down and thinking i wasnt worthy enough to be a christian… NO MORE>. now God uses my past to teach me and show me his love, grace and mercy.. does it hit me in the gut sometimes yes it does esp when i see my daughters dealing with things from my past.. not theirs but mine… whatever satan says about your past it might be true… but don’t let it keep you down.  learn from it. apologize for what you need to to who you need to.. deal with it and move on.. )

It’s never to late to do the right thing when it comes to parenting.

The impact of our choices and actions as a parent do not have to dictate who were going to be or who our children are going to be.

Be bound and determined not to stay where you are.. FIGHT..

Speak this :  This is not who I am going to be.. It’s what I did but not who I am.  It’s where I am but not where I am going to stay!

I pray that you find the peace you are searching for …Don’t forget you can request more info on anger by going to kswp.org and filling out the short form and I will email you back the info..  ❤ Jenn

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