A Heart Redeemed By God by Jenn

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To hear the Jennifer Polimino story make me so greatful for god’s grace and mercy.  He is with us our whole lives.  We choose to turn our back on him.. I think alot is because we don’t understand what is really going on in our lives.  We don’t realize the truth in the word.  Its so simple yet so complicated.  We don’t realize that when we marry that our past baggage can be huge barriers in our lives.  When you hear people say stay pure until you get married… it is so very important.  There are so many consequences… that go beyond your imagination.  Respecting your parents. all the things you grow up being told what to do and not to do.. don’t ask questions.. just trust the person that loves you enough to tell you these things.  I look back and think wow.. they told me not to do this.. and that but i did them anyway and still at age 41 i am still dealing with the choices of my past that i could have prevented.

My teenage years about 10th grade is when i started “going crazy”.. I thought lying to my parents about where i was and who i was with, drinking and being promiscuous.  Thinking i was cool and just having fun.  graduated high school still being crazy.. having fun and being cool… The whole time the Lord was in the back of my head.  I knew i was doing wrong but i had gotten on this train and didn’t want to get off.. I did but didn’t .. We all long to fit in somewhere.. and feel important.. I felt important.  I ended up pregnant and 19 and was a mom at age 20.  unwed and abortion was NOT an option for me… so off to mommy hood i go.. I didnt change my ways once my daughter was born.  clubbing, drinking… i lived at home so my parents kept her for me.  Married to my first husband when my daughter was 18mths old.. that marriage lasted almost 7 years.. by this time i had my second daughter.  after that divorce i went back to clubbing and dating… remarried again to my second husband that marriage lasted 6 yrs or so.. this marriage was a lot of arguing and fighting… The last 3 years of this marriage is when we started attending Clawson assembly of God and God spoke to me so clearly… he said no be still and fix yourself.. i cant use you to fix other things until you fix the inside of you… That started my changing from the inside out process.. it’s easy to look good on the outside and be in shambles on the inside.  Researching the scripture on how God instructed me to act, think,. speak and treat people , even the not so nice ones… hours and hours of christian teachings and talks.. crying out to god..  i had friends that would give me advice but i started noticing that it was worldly and not biblical.. so i kept alot of stuff to myself only talking to god about it… and finding out how he wanted me to handle stuff… i felt lonely.. but god needed me there to fix myself.   after many many tries of making that marriage last it was finally over.. I was finally released.. depending on your beliefs on divorce you might not agree with that statement… I waited and waited on that biblical release.. the way god would have me wait.. hardest thing ever… well.. batteling with all that and the fact that i was divorced again i started thinking i wasnt a good christian and satan started sneaking in with making me feel like i should just go back to drinking and partying… Thanks to a very dear friend of mine that thought was vanished from my mind and the vision of true victory replaced it.. i wasn’t going to let satan on that divorce take me out of my calling.. i was good at partying but i was better at teaching my preschool church kids… and working at kswp… i didn’t want that failure behind me too.. so i am proud to say that i am remarried to a Godly man and am purely and truly happy in my life now.  Does satan throw my past up at me .. yes… the best advice on dealing with that is to just that.. deal with it.. don’t sweep it under the rug or act like it didn’t happen… you cant go around your past, you can’t go under it you can’t go over it.. you gotta go through it..

just about 3 months ago i was asked to help serve communion at an Emmaus chapel service.  I immedatley stood up to go help but satan had to push me down and say your not worthy to serve communion.. and it felt like 10 minutes went by as we went back and forth on me serving, as he showed me my past i showed him i know who i am in christ and that my past is forgotten.. and i proudly served my team communion.. one of the highlights of my life… press forward… if you get knocked down get back up agian…

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